The bell rang, students in the class hurriedly packed up their books and rushed out of the classroom despite the teacher's instructions.

I also packed my books to leave the classroom.

I left almost last, except for the homeroom teacher, only me and him were the last ones left in the class.

He wasn't very tall, he had black hair, and always wore dark clothes. Our school's boys' uniform consisted of a black shirt, plaid pants, and a red blazer, but he only wore the black shirt, and replaced the red uniform with his own black blazer and pants. He rarely smiled.

Like every day, he quietly packed up his books, headphones in his ears, not paying any attention to me. He sat at the last table, and I sat at the second table, in the same row. After finishing packing, he put his backpack on his shoulder and walked past where I was sitting.

“Hello… Katashi…”

I reluctantly raised my hand and greeted him.

But he didn't even look, just walked past. I knew the music in Katashi's headphones would never be so loud that he couldn't hear me say hello.

And so, he ignored me as if I didn't exist. Katashi left the classroom.

He must still be mad at me.

His name is Katashi Masayuki, an he was my childhood friend. We grew up together, went to the same elementary school, then went to middle school together… and now in our final year of high school, we are still in the same class.

But you must be wondering, is there some reason why Katashi is being so cold towards me?

In the end, it was all my fault, ever since I entered high school, my mother had always told me to keep my distance from Katashi. You know, when a boy and a girl grow up together, their friendship will develop into a complicated relationship… If our lives were a novel or a slice of life anime, he and I would have liked each other. But my mother prefers a more mature, tough, and responsible guy. In contrast to Katashi, I had always been at the top of my class, and since I entered second year, I had also started to take better care of myself, and more boys in school were paying attention to me… along with my arrogant nature, I became more and more arrogant… I had rejected Katashi to only hang out with beautiful and talented girls like me. Every time he asked me out in front of the class, I pretended like I had never known him. Every time he touched me, I would snap and scold him… Gradually, I pushed Katashi out of my life… and I didn't hesitate to do those terrible things.

That year, my coldness was a huge shock to Katashi, and a chain of disasters followed. Katashi failed the entrance exam to the Arts School, and a drunk driver took the life of his younger sister not long after that…

After being abandoned by me, Katashi didn't hang out with anyone else, he lost faith in friendship, and was alone all day... and my mean friends and I didn't hesitate to make fun of him.

So after one year, I became the queen of high school and Katashi became a loner looking at life with bitter eyes. The Katashi I knew… was no longer the Katashi of the past.

After graduating from high school, I would go to Tokyo and Katashi would go to study abroad. As I got older and more mature, I felt like I was about to lose a very important relationship, so I no longer wanted to keep my distance from him… but by then it was too late.

Okay, I tried to be nice and you don't like it, I don't care.

After school, I didn't leave right away, but stayed at the school swimming pool to relax. The swimming pool was built underground, right under main building.

We had swimming class on Tuesdays, but I always preferred to stay after school. While the other girls were jealous of my curvaceous body, I didn't like the feeling of being stuck in the pool with the boys talking about your body.

I love to be hold in high regard, but not in that embarrassing way. It's nice to be able to swim without some jerk trying to find and angle to look at your breasts, stare at your ass, or make flirty eye contacts.

Drowning myself in water, I let all the thoughts of the day drift away. My eyes were half-closed, as if about to close.

After leaving the pool, it was almost six o'clock, I went to the bike rack garage to get my bike and go home.

It was mid-autumn and there was still enough daytime for me to make it to the bike path to watch the sunset.

Over the years since my childhood, only two things have remained the same, one is the sunset, and the other is this town.

The town where I live is an old town built around a mountain, with many old slopes, old houses with their backs to the mountain facing the sea, and surrounded by an aged railway system.

I stopped on the coastal bike path, propped my bike up against the side of a mountain, and watched the sunset over the horizon. It had been a long time since I had stopped to watch a sunset like this on the way home. I was only a few months away from graduating and moving to Tokyo. And I bet Tokyo sunsets were nothing like this.

Growing up in Tokyo and having to squeeze into the subway every day after a tiring day of work… I will miss these feelings. I suddenly remembered the first time I watched the sunset with Katashi in sixth grade, and my heart started to ache.

“Hey Hana? Is it true that after graduating from high school, you're going to Tokyo?”

“Yeah… my parents had a serious talk last night. Right after I graduate from high school… whether I like it or not, I have to go to Tokyo and can’t stay here with you anymore.”

“Oh, what a pity, our 'masterpiece' won't be finished in time.”

I lowered my head, about to cry, when Katashi patted my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we still have six years to finish it, right? Besides, if I fail the art school entrance exam, my dad will send me abroad with my uncle… And it’s the 21st century, even though we’re far away, we can still contact each other…”

At that moment I innocently blurted out a stupid sentence.

“No! I won't! I want to be with Katashi for the rest of my life…”

Katashi was stunned, then laughed, after all we were just kids at that time.

“So… how about after I finish four years of art school I come to Tokyo to live with you?”

“Really… really?”

“Really! For Hana, I will do anything…”

Katashi scratched his head, trying to comfort me with a smile.

Katashi is usually very carefree, but he was also easily affected about other people's feelings. Like me, Katashi's family has also arranged a future for him. Katashi told me this story before, but I was only sad because of my own problems. He knows how to listen, not selfish like me who only cares about myself. Now, I want to see his smile again, but I can't anymore.

The sun was swallowed by the deep blue sea, followed by the dark curtain of the night. Just like the future that awaited me ahead. I may be a daughter from a well-educated family, beautiful and talented, making many other girls jealous. But all of that was just a flashy shell that my mother built for me, because I would be the face and pride of my parents in the future. My parents did not have a son, and I was the eldest, so all of their expectations were placed on me. My father was very strict, and always wanted me and my younger sister to become miniature versions of himself, while my mother often believed in the parenting methods in books. There was a study that said that first-born daughters often had a higher rate of success in their careers than other children, and my mother often used that to push me even harder. My father had an old friend in Tokyo who owned a large computer corporation and would have a stable job for me as soon as I graduated from college, if he promised to marry me to his son.

My job would be a chief programmer. It might not seem like a good fit for my mother’s ideal image of a multi-talented young lady, but this was a computer corporation and my genius brain was born to code. I had studied some of their software and was confident that I could do better than that.

I don't hate my parents. In fact, I'm proud of what they've made me into. But deep down, I still want to develop games.

When we were young, Katashi and I watched a lot of anime. We often role-played as the characters and had a lot of fun. When we grew up, we wanted to create a good story like in anime. Katashi and I argued a lot about our brainchild. He wanted to draw Manga to have more action scenes, and I wanted to write Light Novels because I liked to explore the characters' psychology more. We tried both, but both felt that they were not suitable. Until one day, he introduced me to Visual Novels, a type of game, but more like a novel with animated images. I was overwhelmed and immediately decided that this was the type of genre that our brainchild needed. Katashi said that if I could program, he would try to learn to draw to illustrate it, and I agreed. From then on, I started to learn how to program Visual Novels, while Katashi tried day and night to get into Art School.

I’m still in the process of completing the product that Katashi and I have been working on for so many years… Before we leave, I want to give it to him as a parting gift and an apology. Even though he continues to ignore me and doesn’t accept it, before I leave this place, I want to do something special.

The sun had set for a while, I stood still looking at the night sea a little longer, then returned home.

In town, the only neighborhood that looked newer was the one where Katashi and I lived, a wealthy neighborhood that was separate from the rest of town. They were all modern mansions. The older residents didn’t like them at all. They thought the investors were ruining the landscape.

It was dinner time again, my hyperactive sister made a mistake at school and was called to her parents by her homeroom teacher. And of course, my mother scolded her using me as an example. She also had chin-length bob like me, but her style was very Tomboyish, contrary to my lady image.

“Why did I give birth to someone like you, Toru? Look at your sister, she's both good and understanding. If you can't be as good as her, then at least save face for this family. Why can't you be half as good as your sister?”

Mom might scold her like that a few times but using me as a standard and the frequency every day, I feel like the villain here and my relationship with Toru is bad enough that she might never call me sister again.

My father didn't care. There was a report on the news about some kind of virus spreading rapidly from the Chernobyl area in Ukraina, and I didn't pay much attention to the news. It was a long way from Chernobyl to here, and with modern knowledge of disease prevention, there was no way that virus could spread to Japan.

“What nonsense!” - My dad immediately took the remote and turned off the TV.

I continued with the bowl of Miso soup in front of me, but my mother continued to scold my little síter, until she turned to me and said that I had to tell her, then I couldn't stand it anymore and put the bowl of soup down.

"I'm going back to my room."

“Hey? Hana? Where are you going?”

“I'm not in a good mood, I want to go upstairs.”

“Sit down! Hana!”

My father shouted.

But I ignored it and walked up the stairs to my room.

I went to my room but didn't stay there. I changed my uniform jacket into a gray hoodie, took my laptop and sneaked out of the house through the back door.

Our town was normally very quiet, and in a remote neighborhood like this, the flickering streetlights were not enough. The mid-autumn weather was chilly, so I hurriedly zipped up my hoodie.

I walked up the nearby hill, the hill was far enough away from the residential area that I could have some peace, some breeze, and a nice view.

I chose an open space and sat there, from where I sat I could see the whole town from above. The light from the small houses down there created a cozy feeling. Completely different from my life, living in a big house, with my parents and younger sister, with all the amenities that could be called luxurious for a high school girl, but I never felt that cozy.

This hill is still the place I often go to relieve stress when there is a conflict in the family. I took a deep breath into my chest, looked up at the starry sky, then started to turn on the computer to continue completing my game.

I started for a while, then immersed myself in it, absorbed in doing it and forgot about the time. That's also my bad habit, once I'm interested, I will focus too much on the work and not pay attention to anything around me. If someone disturbs me, I will get angry with them in the most negative way. Therefore, it's better for me to work alone in a deserted place like this. The sound of my fingers clicking on the keyboard is like the sound of bullets fired from a machine gun.

Suddenly, a voice made me stop.

“Wrong! That character's name should be Eugene!”

I looked around in panic. In the middle of the night, in a deserted place, suddenly hearing someone's voice made me extremely scared. Under the hood of my hoodie, I looked around, looking for the person who made the noise. I always felt secure about the security of this area, but if a robber or a stalker sneaked into this area, then today I would be done for.

The air was quiet again. There was no one there.

"Could it be a ghost?"

But then, I calmed down when I realized one thing:

There are only 2 people who know that the character I'm programming is Eugene, me, and…

“Katashi!”

I looked up at the tree nearby, above the branches, a high school boy in dark clothes, was absent-mindedly hanging on the branches. Hearing my call, he looked at me. A cold and empty gaze.

“Ha…na…”

It's Katashi, I can't believe it, after all this time, he's suddenly talking to me?

“Ka… Katashi! What are you doing up there…”

Katashi looked at me passionately. In his eyes at this moment, there was no coldness as usual that I had imagined, his eyes at this moment, were empty, lethargic and not alert.

“Hana… for the past year… I… I missed you so much…”

“What are you babbling about? Come down here and talk to me!”

I stood up and called up to the branches.

Katashi didn't pay any attention to my call, he sat there, absentmindedly muttering.

“I hate you… you evil woman…”

Katashi continued to mumble some more nonsense, and only then did I realize that he had a bottle of wine in his hand.

“Katashi! You're not in your right mind, get down here before you fall off the…”

Before I could finish my sentence, Katashi jumped right in front of me. His action surprised me so much that I almost jumped up into the tree.

He threw the bottle aside and leaned his face close to mine. The alcohol fumes coming from him made me feel uncomfortable.

Since when did you become such a drunkard?

“Hey… Katashi…” – I gently placed my hands on his chest, intending to push him away – “Can we talk when you’re more sober?”

Katashi looked at me strangely. Good, at least he was still conscious enough to understand what I said.

But I was wrong.

Immediately, he ran his hand through the hair at the back of my head, hugged me tightly, and placed his lips on mine. I was taken aback, my eyes widened, my cheeks flushed, and my whole body went limp. My whole body was paralyzed by his kiss.

No, what am I doing? What is Katashi doing? Everything happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to mentally prepare myself to react.

This isn't good! This isn't good at all! Katashi is drunk and we haven't spoken to each other in a year. This can't be real. I tried to regain my senses and used both hands to push Katashi off me.

The kiss was interrupted. Katashi was pushed away, I took a step back, and staggered. He looked at me with the confused eyes of a drunk.

How shameful, how humiliating! How could a precious young lady like me have my first kiss stolen by a drunkard. I blushed, looking at him with resentful eyes.

“You are a jerk!”

I walked over and slapped Katashi hard. His whole body jerked, and from inside, he vomited all over me.

Oh my god my favorite Hoodie! You bastard, look what you did to me? My beautiful body too… so disgusting… ouch.

I almost cried out in emotion.

Katashi held his cheek, shook his head, and stroked his drunken face. Until he looked up and saw me there, with a red face. He looked at me again, puzzled.

“Hana?”

“Are you sober yet?”- I angrily scolded Katashi then angrily turned around, picked up the laptop and left.

He shook his head a little, then rubbed his face. It seemed that even Katashi himself didn't know what he had just done.

The hill wasn’t very high and was just a large mound. When I reached the bottom, I looked back at Katashi, who continued to look around with that puzzled look. He didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t call out to me again.

I was also angry and left, not paying any attention to Katashi anymore.

When I got home, my parents scolded me again for sneaking out at night. After taking a shower, I just wanted to jump into bed and go to sleep to ease my anger.

But after turning off the lights, I looked up at the starry sky outside the window and thought about the times we sneaked up that hill to watch the stars with Katashi, and I couldn't sleep.

Our memories came flooding back like beautiful footage. I thought of Katashi from just now.

He kissed me. He said he missed me so much.

But that was only when he was drunk and couldn't control his emotions.

Katashi? Is that how you really feel?

I was about to pick up my phone to text Katashi. He probably just finished showering and wouldn't be asleep yet.

But what caught my eye was my own text message to Katashi from over a year ago. That was the last time I texted Katashi. The text message that started everything, tearing apart our friendship. Right now, I felt both ashamed and hated my own arrogance more than ever. I always demanded that Katashi come back to me, but always forgot that the one who caused us to drift apart like this, was not him, but me.

Right now, if I were Katashi, I would never forgive myself either.

Message: November 10, 2016 at 22:50:

From: me: To: Katashi: “Please, Katashi, get out of my life.”