No teacher can teach me, because my 'ego' is very high.
One is that I will oppose that teacher's teaching style to the end while still getting sky-high grades at the end of each semester.
Two, that teacher understood that I could survive without them so they would let me do things my own way.
And in both cases, no teacher would ever gain my respect unless they accepted the fact that 'I', was a genius, and 'I', was better than them.
Hana Tachibana, born a prodigy, inherited her mother's intelligence and her father's cool head. She has the ability to analyze, receive and memorize information in an inhuman way, like a supercomputer, once she receives a job, she will process it quickly and complete it with best results.
Because of that, 'I' will never have difficulty with simple knowledge at school.
However, being born a genius meant that Hana Tachibana was automatically given another curse upon birth.
It's megalomania.
You know, once you're so high up, it's hard to equate yourself with the monkeys below.
Let's say I'm a God Complex, a brat who thinks she knows it all, but then again, let's say I'm a higher being than them, and I can't understand the thinking of those below, then, how can ordinary people like them understand the feeling of being in my position?
Anyone who comes into contact with me will have one of two reactions.
Or they would admire me, flatter me like a genius, then turn around and say I was an ignorant whore with little knowledge who always wanted to show off.
The second case, which is more polite, will say straight to my face: “You are a bad listener”.
But no matter what the case is, when I put myself into action, I always prove that I am right, and always do the job better than them.
_ _ _
Through the windshield of the car, far in front of us, was a cluster of white-painted villas neatly arranged behind rows of trees.
'Home' is just around the corner.
Only, the car still did not move, quietly hiding under a bush by the roadside, emitting headlights towards the opposite neighborhood ahead.
It was already seven o'clock in the evening. Between the autumn weather and the persistent rain, the sky was once again covered in pitch black, ushering us into the second night of the zombie apocalypse.
Daisuke kept his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes glued to the scenery ahead. The tapping of his fingers on the wheel and the patter of the rain above gradually became the ticking of the clock, signaling the passing of the seconds.
I had been sitting in the car for a while now. It felt cramped and stuffy, especially in this sloppy state. Even the air conditioning couldn’t save my tight-fitting uniform from soaking wet. Right now, all I wanted was to get out of this cramped car.
But now, even if I ran out, I wouldn't know where to go. Because at this point, I wouldn't even be able to return to my 'home' anymore.
The hope of returning home had been the driving force that had pushed me this far. Yet as soon as the familiar scene appeared before me, the sight before my eyes extinguished all the hopes that had been bubbling up inside me.
Caught in the headlights of the car, behind the Barrier guardhouse, the neighborhood where I live…
Was full of zombies.
_ _ _
They said I could never be part of a team, because my teamwork skills were zero.
You know, an independent and opinionated girl like me, once I have finalized my idea, I will carry it out no matter what.
I don't like people poking their noses into my plans and changing them. Even if they have good intentions, they ruin my perfectly laid out plans.
Here are two examples of this.
Up until now, whenever I was assigned to a group that included me, only one of the following outcomes would happen:
One, I will do everything myself as smoothly and completely as possible.
Second, the remaining members will complete the project without me.
Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered the school festival event last summer.
As the class president, I was given the full responsibility of compiling everyone’s ideas for the overall theme for the class booth. That year, gothic themed Manga was quite popular, and the concepts in Avex’s recent MVs were also very western. So, after a round of voting, the whole class decided to go with the Gothic theme.
At first, everyone was very excited, because the school festival only happened once a year, and the following year we would be in our final year so we wouldn't be as happy as we are now.
It's a festival that everyone has been looking forward to for a long time, and I'm no exception.
But when I started assigning tasks, all the ideas in my classmates were quickly extinguished by me.
“Hana! I think we should do an exhibition…”
“No! We're going to do a Cosplay Café.”
“Hana! Can we add a music player over there?”
“No! That place will put Manga for Café visitors.”
“Class president, our group wants to sing this song in the performance.
“No! It doesn't fit the Gothic theme at all. We won't be performing that song.”
Etc…
Please, your ideas are too trivial, how can they replace the plan I outlined a month ago?
Then, for the next week, everyone quietly prepared for the festival under my extremely strict supervision. Every idea that arose was censored and eliminated by me and Airi's group, sometimes even crushed, causing the person who came up with the idea to feel offended.
Therefore, the preparation for the festival of class 2A suddenly became as gloomy as preparing for a funeral.
That day, Miyu and I walked around the classroom to check on progress.
Daisuke was standing on a chair, struggling with the banner in front of the entrance.
I immediately stopped, crossed my arms over my chest, and softly reminded him.
“Ahem, what do you think you're doing?”
“I made a banner for the class, do you like it?”
“Take it down quickly, who gave you permission to bring that trash in here?”
“But I stayed up all night to do it.”
“No buts, can you see anything flashy like that in my assignment plan?”
“I didn't mean it to be like that… I just thought you'd be impressed with this surprise…”
“You're rather embarrassing me, take it down quickly.”
The poor male student sadly took down the banner he had painstakingly prepared, then sadly avoided me and retreated into the classroom.
Just after Daisuke left, behind me, I heard whispering.
Two or three other classmates gathered around to pat Daisuke on the shoulder, not forgetting to add a few sarcastic comments.
Of course, even my close friend Airi joined in the fun.
"What a control bitch, she think she is the class president so that she can tell us to do this and that."
“She is so arrogant, she doesn't care about anyone.”
“Let's see how long she can keep that face.”
“…”
They couldn't do anything to me, so they turned around and spoke ill of me. I got used to it so often. After all, the character of ordinary people can only go so far, I sympathized with them.
Miyu beside me looked worried, she gently tugged on my shirt.
“Hana, I think that banner is cute, he worked really hard to make it after all…”
I shook my head, then turned back to look at the classroom that had been decorated according to my predetermined vision. Everything was in place. The pillars were built to resemble the architecture inside ancient castles, hidden in a uniform classical color scheme that covered the entire room, and the stained glass windows were handmade, giving off a mysterious, magical feeling, shimmering like a movie set.
If I were a visitor to my own 2A classroom that day, I'm sure I would have felt like I was being transported into another world myself.
I sighed, then rested my chin on my hand, turned my face to speak to Miyu.
“You see Miyu, if I allow such things here, our classroom will be in chaos, how can we create a harmonious layout like this?”
I don’t want to be a pushover, but my idea is so perfect that no one else’s idea can surpass it. I don’t want this to be like every other time. I want to be innovative. Imagine if the people who come to my class booth get to experience something they’ve never experienced before. Wouldn’t I be the one who sets the tone for the entire school’s boring annual festival?
So even if I have to trade off all the jealousy of everyone in class, I'm still willing to do it for this stupid class.
“Uhm…” – Miyu nodded slightly, but it seemed like she had something else to say.
We continued walking together, after a while, Miyu whispered to me again.
“Hana, I know you mean well, but have you ever felt like you’re only thinking about yourself? This festival is for everyone, not just yours… Everything is perfect the way you want it, but try putting yourself in everyone else’s shoes. Do you think everyone is having fun?”
I ignored Miyu's question, pretending like I didn't hear it. Even my best friend who always supported me couldn't help but blurt out that I was nothing more than a selfish person.
Miyu lowered her head. Having been friends with me long enough, she knew that once I made a decision, no matter what she said, it was like talking to an inanimate object, there was no way to change it.
“Uhm nevermind.”
After walking for a while, Miyu stammered again.
“Hey, Hana…”
“What's wrong, Miyu?”
“I plan on participating in the class booth, I would love to cosplay as Sharon, is it ok?
I paused, feeling dissatisfied with Miyu's choice, and started lecturing her again.
“Sharon? What are you thinking? It doesn't suit you. I think you should cosplay Alice better…”
Note: Sharon and Alice are characters from the manga ‘Pandora Hearts’
_ _ _
“Well, looks like we'll have to find somewhere else to stay for the night…”
Before I could even think of a way to get past the zombies and move into the neighborhood, Daisuke mercilessly declared a sentence and turned the wheel to drive away.
Everyone in the car didn't have any special reactions, after all it was just another stop on the map crossed out. But for me, returning home was the most important goal. And I had gone through a lot to get here.
“Daisuke, that many zombies isn't too bad… Can we stop for a bit and think of a way to get in there?”
“Or, you can run over it like you did at school…”
Since I had returned to the car earlier, I had been sitting in the front seat next to Daisuke, so I could easily talk to him. However, in response to my plea, all he said was this:
“No, Hana, you’re just thinking about yourself, everyone wants to go home. We agreed to go to your house because you said it was a safe zone, but now it’s not safe anymore, we have to put the group’s priotiry above your own, I myself want to keep this life so of course, I’m not stupid enough to rush into the middle of those cannibals again…”
Daisuke lowered the side vent, letting the rain splash into my face.
“If you want, you can go back home alone… no one will stop you…”
I turned back to look at Katashi pleadingly, he was on my side after all.
“Katashi, you convince Daisuke, we can go home, right?”
However, Katashi just silently turned his face away. It seemed that even he was aware that returning to the neighborhood was suicide.
I watched with regret as the villa complex grew farther and farther away, about to disappear behind the trees once more. I had barely seen the houses in front of me, and I had already let my only chance slip away. I wondered if I was going to let Daisuke decide my fate like this.
And at this moment I started to lose control of myself, the huge ego inside once again rose up and took control of my body.
Even though it cost me Airi, Miyu, and Akira, my obedient participation in the escape plan that Rin devised to escape from the school wasn't out of blind will.
It was all within my expectations.
And convincing Daisuke to divert the journey back to the mansion was also part of that plan.
From the very beginning, this Hana Tachibana had only one goal, and one goal only.
It is to come home.
Despite the many events that happened today, everything still went according to the roadmap I had laid out from the moment Rin put pen to paper on her blueprint.
As soon as I knew I could leave school, as soon as the first ray of hope appeared, I immediately thought about going home.
Katashi, Rin, or Daisuke, although my view of them has changed a lot, in theory, they are still the perfect links, helping my plan to return home go as smoothly as possible.
And even though I owe them a lot, no one is allowed to go against my pre-determined vision.
Everything I experienced today, is true.
I came back from hell alive, and I'm not lying to myself.
The feeling of helplessness when I was pushed to the limit. The feeling of fear when I saw my friends being eaten right before my eyes. The feeling of comfort when I was surrounded by people I would never have thought I would talk to, not even once.
And yet here I am, thanks to them.
I've been through it all, I survived.
If Miyu hadn't pulled me out of class, I would probably be a zombie wandering the schoolyard right now.
If Katashi hadn't come to save me at that moment, I would have been stuck in the crowd, becoming a delicious prey for the zombies.
If Akira hadn't sacrificed himself to save me, I would never be able to cry every time I think about him.
If Rin hadn't come back to pull me out of that rain, when I lost myself, I wouldn't know where I would be right now.
And in the end, if Hari and Daisuke hadn't appeared at the last second, I probably would have never left the school.
The people who brought me this far. The feelings I have for them, are completely real.
But right now, at this very moment, it's not that I'm not grateful to him, but Daisuke is going against my vision.
Daisuke, you have become a faulty link in this plan, and I hate disobedient people the most.
I am the main character in my story, and no one gets to decide the ending for me.
I know what I have to do, I know I always make the right decision.
“Daisuke, if you don't turn the car around… then I'll have to do it myself.”
"Huh?"
With that, I lunged and nudged Daisuke aside, grabbed the wheel, and turned it in the opposite direction.
My action happened so suddenly that Daisuke could only stare blankly. By the time he had time to adapt and regain control of the steering wheel, it was too late.
The tires screeched across the road, shooting the car like a bullet back down the road it came from.
“Hana! What are you doing!”
Daisuke used all his strength to try to regain control of the car from me. But I held the steering wheel even tighter than before. Katashi and Yamato quickly jumped from behind to hold me back.
“Let go Hana, you're crazy!”
The steering wheel spun back and forth, the car's trajectory on the road also skewed.
Daisuke's legs were pressed down by my whole body, gripping the gas pedal tightly. In the moment of struggling with Daisuke, neither of us paid attention to what was ahead, and then, the headlights of the car flashed, bang, the world shook, the airbag deployed, and I hit my head on the frequency board in front. The car lost momentum and crashed straight into the guardhouse.
In the white light, a familiar scene appeared in my subconscious.
A white room with filing cabinets filled with dark blue plastic files. A desk filled with papers and the familiar smell of coffee wafting in the air.
In front of me, a man in his twenties in a white shirt and slightly messy hair was sitting at that table.
It's Hibiki Sensei.
The teacher was sitting there sipping coffee. His face was a little pale and his eyes were dark from staying up late. His mature demeanor was in stark contrast to the immature appearance of a twenty-six-year-old newbie.
And I saw myself, sitting right there, a schoolgirl with bobbed hair to her chin, a black shirt under a red blazer, a short skirt, a neatly tied ribbon around her neck, facing Hibiki Sensei. My neat appearance contrasted with his disheveled appearance from staying up late.
It was the teachers' office. There were other people in the scene but I didn't pay much attention. I found myself bowing my head. It seemed like I would have to sit through Hibiki Sensei's private lecture again.
“Here we go again, Hana… I've told you so many times, but you still make my head hurt.”
“Sensei, it's not my fault, it's clearly Dojima Sensei's teaching method that's the problem.”
I remember. It was that time. I was rude to my math teacher again and was invited to meet privately by the homeroom teacher.
Hibiki Sensei shook his head, put down his coffee cup and rubbed his forehead.
“I know Dojima Sensei is old, so sometimes he gets confused, but every time Dojima Sensei makes a mistake, you don’t need to humiliate him like that. Dojima Sensei is a senior teacher, even teachers my generation have to respect him. You’re not showing off your knowledge by doing that, it’s just being rude.”
“I'm not being rude, his expertise is outdated, and I just wanted to point that out…”
“But you don't have to do that in front of the class.”
“I have to expose Dojima Sensei's ignorance in front of the class, otherwise he won't admit he's wrong.”
“It's not that his knowledge is outdated, it's your attitude that's wrong with such an excellent student.”
“But I have the correct answer, so why should I let him teach the whole class something that is already wrong.”
“…”
Hibiki Sensei stopped. He didn't continue to argue with me. As my homeroom teacher for so long, he knew how stubborn I was. Once we started a debate, it was hard to make me give up.
Hibiki Sensei stood up, he stepped out of his seat, then came closer, gently placing his hand on my shoulder.
His voice dropped.
“Hana, you are an excellent student, now and in the future. But to enter the world, being excellent is not enough…”
He pinched my cheek.
"Stubborn!"
Hibiki Sensei threw me a fortune cookie from his basket and told me to open it and eat it.
I split the cake in half, revealing a piece of paper as usual.
My message this time is: “The universe does not revolve around you, you are not the center of the universe.”
“…”
Hibiki Sensei turned to look out the window, I could catch a glimpse of a smile on his face.
Did he put that piece of paper inside the cake on purpose?
“Hana…”
"Yes…"
Hibiki Sensei tilted half of his face towards me, at the same time as the early afternoon sunlight filtered through the glass, warming the room.
“Remember, one day, you will have to learn to lower your ego. By the time you learn that lesson, you will be a real adult.”
“…”
I found myself tilting my head in confusion. So the me at that time was still too immature to understand his teachings.
Lower your ego?
What Hibiki Sensei said at that time, I now gradually understand.
The light from outside the window enveloped the entire room, then flashed again, white light engulfing the space, bringing me back to reality.
“Hana… wake up… Hana… We have to go…”
I saw the view before me spinning, the only sound in my ears was a loud bang. It was not until I was fully awake that I realized Katashi was pulling me out of the car.
Daisuke was outside with his arm around Yamato's shoulder, and Rin was holding an axe to fend off the approaching zombies. Everyone was luckily not fatally wounded, and I was the last one to get out of the car.
The car not only destroyed half of the guardhouse, but also broke the barrier. Looking at the familiar scenery around me, rows of white-painted villas stretching out evenly, I realized I was already standing in the neighborhood.
Luckily, thanks to the airbag in front, I was not seriously injured, just knocked out for a moment.
“Can you walk? Let's go.”
Katashi led me to a clearing, I turned around, saw the front of the car was crushed behind. The two front wheels were stuck inside the rubble of the hut. After the collision, the zombies in the area started to gather towards the car.
Daisuke walked up to me, not angry, but looking disappointed. He placed the weapon bag on my hands, making me almost fall down with it. Even though I was still staggering and unsteady on my feet, I knew I deserved it.
“Looks like you got what you wanted. Now hold on to this bag, we're going to have to run fast.”
_ _ _
The school festival has finally ended. The final day of the school festival concluded, Café Gothic of class 2A was a great success, attracting the attention of the whole school and receiving many compliments from teachers and student council.
Only, appearing in the classroom that day, there was not a single person except me and Miyu.
When I went around to investigate, I discovered that all my classmates had secretly opened a booth in another club room. The booth design was very simple, not very noticeable, but it was a collection of everyone's ideas that I had mercilessly crossed out.
There was a very rustic maze, a record player in the corner of the room, a band playing their music, everyone cosplaying as their favorite character… Everything was simple, traditional, messy, but apparently, everyone was having fun without my presence.
In front of that club room, Daisuke's previous banner had been replaced by a line of text:
“No pets and Hana Tachibana allowed.”
Yes, I remembered everything. That night, after returning home, I buried myself in my blanket and sobbed alone.
I remember clearly how hurt I was that day.
I'm hurt. But who's to blame?
The one who hurt me, was not my friends who abandoned me, but I did it to myself.
Because I was selfish, I didn't listen to anyone, so in the end, no one listened to me anymore.
Many times, I act arrogant, showing that I don't need anyone.
But inside, I was always alone, tormented by my own actions.
It was at that moment that I realized something.
I'm not a genius or anything.
Simply, I'm just a stubborn, conservative and selfish girl.
Because of this selfishness, everyone have started to turn their back on me.
So if I want to regain people's respect like before, I have no choice but to change myself.
However, personality is inborn, so how can it be changed?
Time and time again, the results of selfishness always lead me back to loneliness.
Over and over again, I promised myself I would change.
Time and time again, I promise myself to put my ego down and listen to others for once.
And then when the moment comes, I continue to act like that lesson never happened.
I'm still me, the stubborn, conservative and selfish Hana that even I hate.
In the end, instead of controlling it, I let my ego and selfishness take over and control me.
Clutching the blanket underneath me, I let my tears of weakness and helplessness soak into the pillow I lay on.
No, I don’t want to be that kind of person.
Before, people always commented that I was shy, but extremely gentle and kind.
But since when did I become such a selfish person?
I can't continue being like this, I'll keep losing relationships like I lost Katashi.
And I will lose myself.
I want to be myself again.
I want to change.
_ _ _
“Hana! On your Left.”
Daisuke's voice made me reflexively throw myself aside. Daisuke swung his stick from the side and brought it down on the head of the zombie that had almost caught me. His blood splattered onto my cheek.
Daisuke ran in the front this time with Rin now armed with the fire axe from before. Katashi moved to escort Yamato and defend from the rear.
My job was to hold on to the weapon bag. Before leaving the car, Daisuke didn't forget to save it. I hugged Daisuke's sports bag filled with weapons to my chest and ran forward at full speed. This thing was much heavier than it looked, it was filled with the weapons that Hari and Daisuke had found inside. Most of them were metal objects, and the fact that they were so bulky made it difficult for me to keep my balance.
“How much further?” Daisuke asked.
We ran down the sidewalk, past the garage of a two-story villa. I recognized this house. My neighborhood and Katashi's weren't far away.
“Just two hundred meters, hurry!” – Katashi at the end of the line shouted through the rain, then kicked a zombie that was rushing towards him.
I was both scared and excited as I ran through the zombies on the street. Compared to the wide road ahead, they were quite sparse, not as concentrated as at the entrance. The further in, the easier it was to breathe, but that didn't mean I was safe. The villas on both sides of the road passed by my eyes, along with rows of green trees and lampposts that were still glowing. Were my parents and Toru still alive and waiting for me at home, or was it all just an illusion I created for myself to move forward? It seemed like I was about to reach my answer. Even now, I still couldn't believe that I was about to go home.
And then, the familiar neighborhood appeared before my eyes, the hill I often visited looming in the distance after the rain.
From above, the area looks like a luxury resort in the middle of the forest, with lots of trees and rows of villas.
Our street was a row of villas stretching around a flower garden. Soon the white two-story house with four glass windows was not far from my approaching footsteps.
That's my house. Katashi rushed forward, slashing the two zombies in front of the gate with his sword, sliding the iron gate aside for us to follow.
Daisuke, me, Rin, Yamato, and then Katashi entered one by one. Once we were all in my front yard, Katashi quickly slid the gate closed as soon as he entered. Daisuke told me to put his bag on the ground, then quickly took out a piece of chain to secure the gate. No more zombies would get in.
The five of us stood in the yard, panting as we watched the zombies swarming on the other side of the sliding gate. Creepy hands were reaching through the bars, trying to reach us.
Finally the group was safe in my front yard.
Through the dining room window, I saw the dining table for four, still in the same state as when I left the house yesterday morning. There were no lights on inside, and I started to worry. I wondered if my parents and Toru had actually returned home. The streets were full of zombies, and I didn't see my family among them, at least not yet, so I figured they were upstairs. Not wanting to keep myself in suspense any longer, I had to go inside.
But before I go back inside, I have to face my judgment.
I looked at Katashi, Daisuke, Yamato, and Rin standing far away in the courtyard, waiting for something to happen to me, but it didn't. They should have been angry with me, because my selfishness had put the group in danger again. Instead, Daisuke and Rin turned away, not even looking at me, and Yamato looked at me with the same eyes the group had given him when he pushed Airi.
So I'm so hateful that even someone like Yamato feels it's not worth punishing me.
Someone say something, I just sent you to your death. This silence is a punishment worse than physical punishment.
And then Katashi stepped forward and slapped me hard on the cheek.
The others turned to look. I held my red cheeks, looked up at Katashi, and sobbed.
I knew I deserved it, and deserved ten times more. But the slap didn't come from Daisuke, Rin, or Yamato, but directly from Katashi, which made me feel extremely hurt. Because up until now, he had always protected me, always forgiven me, and never hurt me.
His black hair fell down on his wet face. Under the rain, for the first time, Katashi looked at me with a different gaze. It wasn't the sweetness from the Katashi of when I was young, it wasn't the indifference of the Katashi who had been betrayed by me, and it wasn't the worry like when he came to save me when I was surrounded by zombies.
In Katashi's eyes at this moment, there was something that I called sternness, but also filled with love.
Like the look in the eyes of an older brother when his younger sister makes a mistake.
“Katashi…”
Once again, in front of Katashi, I couldn't help but reveal my inner weakness.
“Katashi… I…”
For the second time today, I burst into tears.
Right in my own yard, in front of Rin, Daisuke and Yamato, a whole bunch of zombies were lurking outside that gate.
I collapsed to my knees, and slammed my head into the ground.
“Everyone… it's my fault… I'm sorry…”
Know that my words are no longer valuable, because what I caused, has already happened to everyone.
I don't ask for forgiveness, I just hope that next time, I won't let my ego hurt my own friends.
It's that feeling again, torn, painful, helpless before myself.
I was not in control of myself, I let the 'ego' inside take over.
Why can't I ever just humble myself a little? Why do I always act like I'm the center of the universe?
Who am I?
Just a petty, weak, selfish and cowardly highschool girl.
I was such a loser from the start.
Right now, if I had to give up the genius inside me, or lower my ego to the ground, I would only wish that I could put myself in someone else's shoes just once.
Head down on the ground, I cried miserably.
Katashi pulled my sleeve, lifted me up, and pressed my sobbing face against his chest.
My tears soaked Katashi's shirt with the rain, I sobbed.
“Katashi… I don't want to be a selfish person anymore, I want to change…”
I don't know when, but Katashi's stern feeling disappeared, letting me feel the gentleness coming from his body.
"You idiot, crying isn't going to change anything."
He patted my head, then looked up at the second floor glass window of the villa in front of him.
That location was my room. Under the pouring rain and the flickering street lights in the middle of the night.
It's been a long time since Katashi last stood in my yard.
“But thanks to you, Hana, we're here now.”
I suddenly looked at Katashi with blurred eyes.
He smiled at me, the gentle smile of Katashi from before.
“If it weren't for Hana, we wouldn't be able to sleep under warm blankets tonight, right?”
Thanks to my actions, the group had a safe place to sleep for the night.
_ _ _
I always said I couldn't be part of a group, that I would survive on my own without anyone.
And now, you have proven that I would be nothing without you.
People say that this Hana Tachibana is an arrogant, selfish girl, that even if she dies she won't listen to anyone.
Yet all my life, I have been obediently led by the nose by that one boy.
He was nothing special, small, dark, always inferior to his friends at school.
So why is it that a self-centered girl like me is always attracted to you?
No matter where you tell me to go next, or what you tell me to do, as long as it's Katashi, I'm always ready to follow.
Because only when he is by my side do I feel safe.
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